i think i used to believe strongly in some things but now i know it makes me a stupid loser sometimes. but better than being bimbos or snakes like your friends i’d rather kill myself

it’s really hard for me to give hi smiles to street encounters in this land, as if i were a fine european. i mean it’s way more than that. but it doesn’t mean that i believe in others, nor that i trust people who speak the same language as i do. i mean i had to

so anyways, when she called me when sam died, she grieved over the phone and it almost sounded like sex noises. if i had told this to sam he would’ve laughed hardcore; lowkey hating me for making him imagine it, but highkey loving me because it’s just hilarious.

but you died. so i can’t tell u this anymore.

even if i send you so many emojis, it doesn’t mean i like you.

even if i cried infront you, it doesn’t mean you are special to me.

just like i buy bio products, doesn’t mean i trust this salmon chunk fully. but i still buy it.

don’t post i’m leaving this instagram no one cares about you.

don’t invite me to group chats i don’t want to be in the same group with this dried clump of vomit

i cry so much thinking of you sometimes i can’t breathe maybe i need to call an ambulance. but now i think actually it was not even about you. i am such a disgusting human being.

but i don’t need any sympathy, i don’t even know you.

i believe in things less and less

there’s nothing but a middle finger in my pocket

and life gets more and more beautiful

like today