i think i used to believe strongly in some things but now i know it makes me a stupid loser sometimes. but better than being bimbos or snakes like your friends i’ll rather kill myself

i no longer have any capacity to give smiles to random white street encounters in this land, as if i were a fine european. i mean it’s way more than that. but it doesn’t mean that i believe in others, nor that i trust people who speak the same language as i do. i mean i had to

so anyways, when she called me when sam died, she grieved over the phone and it almost sounded like sex noises. if i had told this to sam he would’ve laughed hardcore; lowkey hating me for making him imagine it, but highkey loving me because it’s just hilarious.

but you died. so i can’t tell u this anymore.

even if i send you so many emojis, it doesn’t mean i like you.

even if i cried infront you, it doesn’t mean you are special to me.

just like i buy bio products, doesn’t mean i trust this salmon chunk fully. but i still buy it.

don’t post i’m leaving this instagram no one cares about you.

don’t invite me to group chats i don’t want to be in the same group with my dried clump of vomit

i cry so much thinking of you sometimes i can’t breathe maybe i need to call an ambulance. but now i think actually it was not even about you. i am such a disgusting human being.

but i don’t need any sympathy, i don’t even know you.

i believe in things less and less

there’s nothing but a middle finger in my pocket

and life gets more and more beautiful

like today